


It's Only Goodbye for Now

by knowyourincantations



Series: Sapphic September 2018 [15]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, F/F, Forced apart, Hogwarts Era, Sad Ending, Star-crossed, breaking up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 08:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15991775
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knowyourincantations/pseuds/knowyourincantations
Summary: It's sixth-year and Dumbledore announces the closing of Hogwarts in the face of a rapidly escalating war. Hermione goes to find Pansy.





	It's Only Goodbye for Now

**Author's Note:**

> For Sapphic September Day 15 - **Star-Crossed Lovers** or ~~Holding your dead lover’s body~~.

Sneaking out to the room of requirement after curfew usually filled Hermione with that exhilarating sense of wrongness she’d come to appreciate over the years. Tonight, she felt only dread.

Dumbledore’s announcement was playing on repeat in her head, and she knew what was behind it. Hogwarts wasn’t safe anymore. The war was escalating faster than anyone had anticipated. If they were sending everyone home then Hogwarts must be a target they didn’t think they could defend.

Harry had already been whisked away right after the announcement, and for once, they hadn’t allowed her and Ron to go with him. Whatever was about to happen was big, and even if her thoughts should only be on Harry, they weren’t.

When she reached the Room of Requirement, she was so nervous that it took three tries to get in. Pansy was already waiting for her, pacing uncharacteristically and wringing her hands. When the door closed behind Hermione she looked up.

They stared at each other in silence. Hermione didn’t know what to say. They’d been edging around this ever since Voldemort came back. It was inevitable.

Taking a deep breath, Hermione tried to find her words. “Do you know what’s happening?”

Pansy took a step back as if Hermione had slapped her. “You know I’m not involved in all that!”

Hermione shook her head. That’s what Pansy had always said, but even with how much she liked her and enjoyed spending time with her away from prying eyes, away from their petty faked fighting, she’d never been able to forget Pansy was a Slytherin. Or a pureblood. Not with war looming.

“How could you...?” Pansy crossed the room and took her hands. “If I believed in all that rot about blood purity, do you think I’d be in love with a muggleborn? Do you think I’d lower myself to even associate with you? I got past that years ago!”

Hermione clutched her hands tightly. “No one even knows about us,” she said, unable to shake the feeling this was the end. “We did that for a reason. It was too much trouble because we knew we shouldn’t...we didn’t want to deal with it. But...we both knew this was coming.”

“Did we?” Pansy asked sharply. “You know more about all this than I do. How many times do I have to tell you? I’m _not involved_.”

If only Hermione could be sure of that. It had been alright when they’d first started studying together in secret in the library, more out of a weird sense of competition than anything else. Pansy had wanted to do better and beat her, but Hermione had always had the best books. Sharing had been inevitable, even when they didn’t like each other to being with.

It had been alright when they’d sneaked off from their friends at Hogsmeade and explored the old second-hand bookshop there, bickering the whole time about classics and modern literature.

It had been alright when Pansy had kissed her in an alcove after the Yule Ball, and Hermione had realised that was exactly what she’d been starting to want but hadn’t quite figured out until Pansy’s lips had been against her own. It had been alright even when they kept pretending to fight and hate each other. Most of the time it was fun. She’d had a secret all her own, and she wasn’t forced to defend herself to her housemates for being with the dreaded enemy.

But now?

“I’m a muggleborn and you’re a pureblood,” she said softly, thinking ahead to all the what-ifs. What if Voldemort won? What if he didn’t? What if they went after all Slytherins and pureblood elites in the aftermath? “There’s only one way this ends.”

Pansy closed her eyes and leaned forward until her forehead was touching Hermione’s. “It’s not fair,” she said. An obvious agreement. “It’s so stupid. I have to listen to them every day, prattling on about purity and it’s so stupid. So meaningless. I don’t want this.”

Hermione cupped her face and kissed her. Pansy made a soft sound and kissed back desperately. When they parted, she wiped tears from her eyes and took her hands.

“My parents will probably leave the country,” she said. “We have a long history of not getting involved. We weren’t part of the last war, and we won’t be part of this unless forced at wandpoint. Come with me.”

“What?” Hermione’s breath caught in her throat.

“You won’t be safe here. You’re Potter’s best friend. You’re a muggleborn who trounces all the purebloods in class! They’ll come after you no matter where you try to hide. For being Potter’s best friend, to get to him, but also because you dared to excel here with muggle blood.”

There was obvious desperation in Pansy’s eyes and the way her grip started to hurt. Hermione pulled away and shook her head.

“I can’t do that. You know I can’t.” That would mean abandoning Harry. He may have been whisked away without her and Ron, but surely they would join him once Hogwarts closed. They just had to secure and prepare him first. It made sense.

“You _can_ ,” Pansy said, wiping at her eyes again. Her voice was thick with desperation, and Hermione realised she already knew she wouldn’t go. Her stomach sank. “You just have to choose to.”

For all her protests, Pansy really did know this was it. She knew Hermione too well to think she would actually leave her friends behind.

“I can’t,” she said softly, even though part of her wished she could.

Running away with Pansy would be a better for her than staying, but at the same time, she knew she’d only make herself sick with worry for everyone back home. She couldn’t abandon her friends, not even for Pansy.

Pansy turned away, her shoulders shaking. “You’re going to die,” she sobbed. “You’re almost as big of a target as Potter and Dumbledore. They’ll come after you.”

Hermione wished she could argue that. Anyone close to Harry was a target now. Molly had already send word to Ron that they were moving to somewhere safer. Hermione had already ensured that her parents were hidden and safe, even though it meant she might never see them again. She’d be leaving Hogwarts with Ron and staying with him until it was over.

“I’m tough, I’ll be fine,” she said, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around Pansy, resting her head on her shoulder. Pansy shook against her but didn’t pull away. “Maybe when it’s all over, we’ll see each other again.”

Pansy made a weak sound and turned in her arms. She pressed her face into Hermione’s neck. It was wet with tears.

“I can’t stay with you,” she sobbed. “My parents won’t let me, and if I somehow did, I’d be making them a target and I can’t do that.”

“I know,” Hermione said, reaching up and swiping at her own eyes. This really was it then. “I wouldn’t ask you to.”

“You’re going to die,” Pansy whispered again.

Hermione wished she’d stop saying that, but even she knew the odds were high. It was all she’d been thinking about lately. But she had to believe she’d be okay. She had to believe Harry would pull through and they’d all be okay.

“We’ll be fine,” she said, holding her tightly. “We’ll meet again when it’s all over. It’s only goodbye for now.”

**End.**

**Author's Note:**

> I have now written a loose follow up to this for femslash February that can be found [HERE](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17653049)


End file.
